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Campfire Tales

Home Improvement: The Horse Hilton

Geoffrey fancies himself as a horse guy, as does Randy. Both, however, come from vastly different backgrounds. Geoffrey, at the height of his career, and having lots of disposable income, started buying high-dollar Arabians for his daughter to ride and show. These were stabled in the finest facilities in the Los Angeles area, where they were trained, fed, groomed, and generally spoiled by the best illegal immigrants that very little money could pay.

Randy, on the other hand, grew up in Western Montana and North Idaho where he worked ranches and chased sheep and cattle all over Hell’s creation. His horses were turned loose to pasture every night, or simply hobbled if chasing them down in the morning would take too long. All grooming, doctoring, and training was done by Randy. Where Geoffrey would show up, have his horses loaded onto his trailer, and then drive to a show to spend copious amounts of money on entrance fees, hotels, and his daughter, Randy would show up, saddle up, and head off to work. Where Geoffrey bought the finest in dressage outfits, well, let’s just say that Randy was never one to give up on a garment too soon.

When it comes to horses, their care, upkeep, and training, both Geoffrey and Randy each consider the other to be a complete idiot and moron. Both are probably equally right and equally wrong, for they simply come from different worlds but have been placed together at the Farm. Randy’s horses wouldn’t have made it on the show circuit, and Geoffrey’s wouldn’t have made it working cattle.

Both, after arriving at the Farm, noticed an obvious lack of horses, and both decided that such an oversight should be promptly rectified. Both lobbied George for horse privileges, and with George liking animals in general, or anything that might enhance the feeling of the Farm, readily agreed. Both set about to start acquiring some equestrian comfort animals, and both soon came to the quick conclusion that certain changes would need to be made first.

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